The Wedding and Bella

To my own surprise, we were all summoned to the lounge for an announcement from Alice. Full of concern gather over me and the rest of my family. She had had so many vision over the past week, that once again, we all believed it was bad news. But it wasn't. My baby sister and Jasper are getting married. I couldn't be more happy for them. I just wish sometimes, I could have what they have. I wasn't jealous. Just until recently, finding a mate, never occurred to me. Nor did I ever want one. But meeting Bella has changed all that.

Before I left for school this morning, I got permission from Alice to ask Bella to the wedding and I made the conscious decision that I would ask her. Alice was right (like always) and I needed to stop analysing things and just get on with them. To my surprise, Bella said she would come with me. But now I am doubting it, she doesn't know that I am a soul-less monster yet and how would she feel being in a room full of vampires. Especially Jasper.

But in all truth, things are going to change no matter what. If I don't follow my chosen path, I would have to endure Isabella Swan for the next 2 years. There is no way that Carlisle would leave his post and move us again so soon. So I will keep my distance from her, but I can't stay away from her.

I am also picking her up for school tomorrow, I need to break the news to my siblings that they would have to make their own way to school, but I will deal with that raft when I come to it. I need to see how I would fair, being in such close proximity to her, I need to test myself, I know I have the strength and will power, I just need to test that through.

At some point tonight I will need to get out of this house and go back to Bella's, it has become a ritual for me, but I can't bear to be away from her.